The stuff that turns acquaintances to friends. That’s why you should look for what Keith calls relationship glue. A good network doesn’t consist of fleeting acquaintances. You don’t have to have 10,000 contacts, like Keith, and you sure don’t have to send out 10,000 birthday cards each year. Most people get a headache thinking of networking, because they think of it in terms of width, not depth. Lesson 3: How you spend time with people matters a lot more than how much time you spend with them. You can bet he called some of those people when he was campaigning to be president, and they helped him because they’d known him as a genuinely nice and interested guy long before. For example, when he was only 22 years old, Bill Clinton started writing down the names of everyone he’d met that day every evening, in order to remember them better. Everyone wants to feel respected and valued.Ī good networker builds relationships like a marathon runner, not a sprinter. Nobody likes a leech, who only comes to you when they need your help. Just like you can’t buy safety vests when your ship is already sinking, you have to build your network long before you need it. If you build a basis of understanding and trust with someone, you can sure count on their help when you eventually face a problem you can’t solve alone. The second best time is today.” (here’s a cool pic of it on my Instagram) “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. There’s a really cool quote about the principle of starting early. Lesson 2: Start building your network now, not just when you need it. Rather, always ask “How can I help others?” and you’ll do just fine. In a nutshell, if you want to be a good networker, never ask “How can others help me?”. Sticking with the muscle example, if you show up to the gym twice a week for a year and are generous with how you treat your muscles (by giving them lots of breaks and eating well), you’ll reap the rewards of a good body.įor your relationships, this means not giving up on your co-workers once they’ve helped you with that PowerPoint issue you’ve encountered, and loyally repaying the favor, for example by generously listening to them for half an hour, if they tell you about their marital problems. Instead, constant generosity and loyalty will get you where you want to go. If you go to the gym for the short-term investment of working out once until you collapse, and then expect to look like Arnold the next day, you’re in for a disappointment. The more you use them, the stronger they get, because they grow each time you exercise them.īut just like your muscles, building relationships takes time. Relationships have a lot more in common with muscles. Keith says they’re not like cake, which disappears over time, because it gets smaller with every slice you take. There’s a great analogy in the book to describe how relationships actually work, which is a good thing to know before you start building them. If you want to save this summary for later, download the free PDF and read it whenever you want.ĭownload PDF Lesson 1: Relationships don’t disappear like cake, they grow like muscles. Ready to become a super-connector? Let’s do this! How you spend time with people is much more important than how much time you spend with them.You must build your network long before you need it.Relationships aren’t like cake, they’re like muscles.Here are 3 lessons to help you become a better networker: By now, over 80% of jobs are landed through networking, so a few tutoring lessons in this subject you never had in school can’t hurt, can they? In 2005, he shared everything he’d learned so far about being a good networker in Never Eat Alone.Įven back in 2005, over half of all jobs were found through personal contacts, with only 20% resulting from applying to advertisements and just 10% going to people as a result of unsolicited applications. Nowadays Keith‘s rolodex counts well beyond 10,000 contacts, whom he can count on to return his calls. As a result, Keith went to the best private school in the country on a full scholarship. Not only did he observe how people interact and reciprocate favors as a caddie in the local country club, but also learned that moxie pays off, when his Dad went to his boss’s boss’s boss’s boss – the CEO of the steel company he worked for – to tell him he wanted more for his son than he ever had. Keith Ferrazzi learned about the power personal relationships can have early on in his life. Listen to the audio of this summary with a free reading.fm account*:
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